Patience

Last night the Accident and Emergency department was like the Iraq War, loads of people shouting and arguing but not really sure what they were fighting for. It is difficult trying to tell people to calm down and be patient when they have bleeding wounds-
"Yes sir, i am aware that you have fallen on smashed glass and can no longer see out of your left eye. But if you can just take this ticket and come back to the desk when your number is called".
It doesn't improve the situation.
"But it's my eye. Its hinging oot ma heed. I'm going blind!"
"Yes sir, i am aware of your predicament and the stress this is causing you. It is clear that this injury has been the outcome of some sort of misjudged drunken behaviour. As you can see, we are very busy at the moment, and i would appreciated if you could stop shouting and take a seat. Other there. Yes there, now sit down and think about how much a moron you are and how much valuable hospital time and money you are wasting."

Thankfully he followed my instructions, but usually they tend to get a tad aggressive.
"If you don't get a stookie on this, I'm gonna smash your face in." It speaks volumes about our society that all hospitals have at least two police officers based there 24 7, to deal with the pressing patient enquiries.

Good news though, no one died on my shift last night. Result.

Typical Friday Night

...usually i am a lot more excited than this. At the moment i have prescribed myself 450mg of Lithium Carbonate - twice a day (they were auld Mrs Robertson's pills but she doesn't really need them now) and 5MG of Diazepam. It seems to have taken the edge of most things. The lights are not that bright anymore.

I'm on a back shift tonight. I start at 8pm and finish at 8am tomorrow morning. I am currently based in the Accident and Emergency department which means i won't be able to skive. Its constant, especially on a Friday night in Glasgow. PARTY TIME. Every fucker is having a drink tonight regardless of there race/social class or sexuality, all drinking to excess. Last Friday this old gent was brought in. He was a lawyer and had been drinking all day/night since leaving work. So basically the old chap decided to go looking for some male attention in Kelvingrove Park. Unfortunately for him he approached the wrong guy (some poor dude who was out walking his dog). He walked up to this guy with his trousers open and his genitals exposed, then the guy's dog jumped up and attacked this lawyer cat - biting off the top of his manhood...the result was not pretty. The guy nearly died, blood was everywhere, and the dog owner somehow managed to bring him in. When the receptionist asked him what happened, the guy said "My dog bit off his cock", to which the she replied "Did it spit or swallow?"

Right coffee time, these night shifts really mess with your body clock. I wish i could inject caffeine....