Last night the Accident and Emergency department was like the Iraq War, loads of people shouting and arguing but not really sure what they were fighting for. It is difficult trying to tell people to calm down and be patient when they have bleeding wounds-
"Yes sir, i am aware that you have fallen on smashed glass and can no longer see out of your left eye. But if you can just take this ticket and come back to the desk when your number is called".
It doesn't improve the situation.
"But it's my eye. Its hinging oot ma heed. I'm going blind!"
"Yes sir, i am aware of your predicament and the stress this is causing you. It is clear that this injury has been the outcome of some sort of misjudged drunken behaviour. As you can see, we are very busy at the moment, and i would appreciated if you could stop shouting and take a seat. Other there. Yes there, now sit down and think about how much a moron you are and how much valuable hospital time and money you are wasting."
Thankfully he followed my instructions, but usually they tend to get a tad aggressive.
"If you don't get a stookie on this, I'm gonna smash your face in." It speaks volumes about our society that all hospitals have at least two police officers based there 24 7, to deal with the pressing patient enquiries.
Good news though, no one died on my shift last night. Result.
